Today I’ve been thinking about trust. I did a quick search via Google and this was the definition I got:
1.firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
“relations have to be built on trust”
synonyms:confidence, belief, faith,certainty, assurance,conviction, credence; reliance
“good relationships are built on trust”
Trust is one of the most valuable things when building or maintaining a relationship.We could be talking about all sorts of relationships, a friend, a brother, an acquaintance or a co-worker, maybe even a lover- but trust is always an integral part in building the foundation for a solid relationship. Trust can be built up and it can be lost. Healthy relationships thrive or wither away based on the direction trust is going.
Depending on your personal experiences and cultural context, you probably have a very specific idea of behaviors that earn trust or lose trust. This is because we learn from others what types of behaviors are (or are not) acceptable, and in time there comes a sense of familiarity and predictability in our own cultural surroundings. We like to understand people, to know them and accurately predict how they will behave. But can we really trust solely on this… predictability?? I don’t think so.
We sometimes confuse an ease of predictability with trust. We see how a person moves and thinks and when it aligns closely with what we ourselves are thinking and doing we fill in the blanks: and award them a badge of trust. We assume we know them. This is a hit or miss approach at awarding trust; mainly because it is a lot easier for people to behave in ways that they feel are culturally acceptable- than to be open and honest with themselves and the people around them. Not everyone is acting in ways that are true to their intentions.
Trust is much bigger than mere predictability. Real trust should be based on a deep understanding of an individual, their intentions, their patterns of thought, their unique personal quirks etc… Real trust is found when he or she who trusts places it on he or she who is honest. When this happens miracles occur. All divisions erode. The beauty and the beast become hopelessly entwined. People with this type of bond will look to understand the why of an atypical behavior, rather than simply passing judgement.
I would argue that the purest form of trust is both given and received simultaneously. It is the basis of true connection and communication. So when people are being honest about who they are, whether you understand their behavior or not, remember that they deserve your trust as much as the next person. It’s up to us to get to know them and to understand them.
A person who is honest about who they are, whether it is what others want to hear or not, is least likely to break your trust- because you can know exactly what to expect.
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